Some steps and stones have broken my bones but my thoughts and words have never killed me.

Thoughts can be the heart of action or they can be the death of motivation. The awesome thing about thoughts is that they can ALWAYS be changed and they are absolutely limitless.  You can be a slave to them and let them create you or you can own them and create your own thoughts that give you the power to fly. 

About 5 years ago, in a strange turn of events I was introduced to and read The Secret.  After this little gift was handed over, I couldn't stop talking or thinking about making a change for the good. I talked and talked and talked of change and living a healthy life but wasn't fully sure how it was supposed to happen.  Truth is....It was already beginning to happen.. I had already started the thought process that I wanted something better and something better was on the way.  That's the awesome thing about the Law of Attraction.

I was at a point in my life where I left my thoughts out to dry for so long that they became cracked and a bit faded.  In return, my action was very limited and motivation was at a standstill.  The time had come to freshen them up and make them beneficial again.  In the past I have imprisoned myself in my own thoughts.  I'm not good enough to.. I'm not pretty enough to.. If I was thinner then I could..  I'm not artistic enough, tan enough, rich enough, smart enough.. The day came where I had to say... Enough is ENOUGH!

A little over a year ago, people who had traveled this thought process and helped to guide others were now starting to show up in my life. Some of these people were brand new to my life while others had been there for quite some time but were just taking the first steps themselves.  It seemed that everyone I was talking to and meeting wanted to either make a change for the good, was in the process of change, or truly understood that change was something we do all the time in order to live a full life.  They began to teach me (some without even realizing it) that whatever it is I have in my life right here and now,  I've worked for--be it pain and misery or joy and freedom.

I was given a different perspective. It was the perspective of not allowing anyone to be responsible for my joy but ME.   People began to coach me on how to be grateful and accountable for my life. One of the first actual and true coaching session I was to make 3 lists. Because I feel as though I've freed myself of some of these, I'm working on the ones I haven't completely overcome and because I believe it can help others, I will share my list.... I'm not scared to be human and vulnerable anymore, so here she goes!

 1.      What do I have in my life that I don’t want, don’t like, or could do without?
 •       Debt
 •       Obesity
 •       Anxiety
 •       Car that’s falling apart
 •       Stress
 •       Guilt
 •       Regret
 •       Cavities
 •       Cigarettes (polluting my body)
 •       Drinking far more than I should 
 •       Feel trapped 
 •       Impulse buying
 •       Pain (physical)
 •       Lonely 
 •       Battle inside to stay on track
 •       Queasy feeling in my stomach when I think too much…

 2.      What do I WANT in my life?
 •       To be at a healthy weight again- To be comfortable in my own skin again.
 •       Debt free…6+ figure income
 •       Cavity freeeee!!! (my children too)
 •       Healthy, well behaved children- Be the best role model for them.
 •       To be able to help other single parents or just help others really, but really helping single parents.  Those that want to move forward in life and do better for their children and learn how to get along with the other half.
 •       Confidence
 •       Strength
 •       Wisdom
 •       Patience
 •       Proud of my achievements
 •       Not necessarily religious, but more spiritual…belief that something out there is watching over me and has good purpose for me.
 •       Relaxation
 •       Travel
 •       Independence
 •       Focus
 •       Home of my own
 •       Hyundai Santa Fe….with 3rd row seating!!!!
 •       A partner…Someone to share my daily life with.


 3.      What  STOPS me from having what I want?
 •       ME!!!
 •       Fear of failure
 •       Lack of confidence
 •       Lack of discipline
 •       Lack of self worth
 •       Surrounding myself with people that don’t strive for more 
 •       FEAR, FEAR, FEAR!!...Hmmmm….
 •       Impatient
 •       Worry
 •       Laziness
 •       Putting blame on others 
 •       Exhaustion

Up until the moment I wrote the lists, I wouldn't admit that I was afraid, but the second I did it felt SO GOOD!!  I was scared to death of having a happy life and facing my true and amazing worth.  But now I was being educated on how to overcome fear with action.  

I started to, literally, see myself pushing thoughts out of my head.  If something was coming up that was causing me anxiety, I would picture myself taking that thought and drop kicking it out of my head.  Then I would see myself pulling a happy thought in.  It was an unnecessary thought to dwell on and I rid myself of it.  Stressing over it didn't make it better and I started to take the action to fix the things that caused me stress so I didn't have to waste space with them in my head anymore.

I look back now and giggle thinking, "Why in the HELL was I scared to be happy??"  But when I really think about it, I know the answer to that.  I did not believe I was free.  I was a slave to my thoughts, which really weren't my thoughts at all.  They were conditioned thoughts from what I'd seen others do along the way. For example: The first cigarette I ever picked up.. Was it because I REALLY thought that it was going to taste good?  Or was it because I was searching for something else?  I was searching to be "soothed" I wanted comfort and I saw someone else get it that way, so I figured it must be the way.

I see and talk to others on a regular basis that go through similar thought patterns and situations.  I still turn to "the more experienced" for advice and guidance, but it seems that others see how I've decided to live my life, view me as the more experienced and now come to me for advice and guidance.  I do my best to listen, offer them some other choices than what they have thought of on their own and allow them the opportunity to know that we no longer have to be a victim of our own lives.  No longer do I have to live in the ridiculousness of being a slave to my own thoughts and I'm more than willing to help others free their minds as well.  I am breaking the chains of habit and becoming a new person and embracing my thoughts because they are damn good ones!