Shots (and not the fun kind), Shiny Stuff and Almost Losing My Shizzle: A Story of Survival as a Single Mom

Once you become a single mother.. Life takes on a bit of a different twist.  Things you used to do as a couple, you know have to figure out how to do on your own.  Now, this can go one of two ways for you.  You can either step up and take responsibility for you, your kids' lives, and some sort of manageable relationship with the father (provided he's not a psycho killer and in prison for life or some shit like that).... Or, you can let everything and everyone else take the blame for your current situation and crumble into pieces when the slightest wind blows against you.

With neighbor and friend's kids over often, 
my house looked like this...
Only I wasn't crazy enough to get pregnant again.

Now.. With that being said, I have-- at some point-- chosen both roads.  Considering I was already on the road that allowed me to place blame everywhere but in my own hands while I was married, it took quite a while of being single to change that.  I didn't take care of things that should have been taken care of and looked for reasons to blame someone else (mostly baby daddy) for the reason I had to handle a certain situation.  My house was a mess, my finances were out of control, and my kids were not what you would have called angels at that time.

I was trying to think the other day of the first situation as a single parent that I really got knocked back a bit, and this one memory came rushing up like bad shellfish....  The good thing now though is that every time I tell this story, it makes me laugh until my belly aches.  None of us are what we were then and there's no other way to look at your past than with a smile, right?

So, this particular instance happens to be the day I had to take my daughter, who would be heading off to Pre-K soon, to get her shots updated.  Brianna was 4 and I... well... I was way behind on doctor's visits for shots.  No biggie, we'll just get her all caught up and we're good to GO! Well, let me tell you.... If you are low income, such as I was, and you need a way to get free shots for your kids.  Be prepared to wait in lines that you can only compare to Justin Bieber manning a kissing booth at a tween convention.  It is a freakin' mad house and there is a line literally wrapped around the school parking lot--- twice.

I'm tellin' you this line was SO long that they had clowns and people walking around giving out bottles of water and snacks.  The water was greatly appreciated but the clowns and the popping balloon animals that left the little ones screaming, we could have done without. Also--mind you, this is Texas and it was mid-July.  It was hotter than HELL outside. We were melting out there and patience between a mother and a child ran very thin!!!

To top it off with my new found singledom.... Brianna and I did not venture this alone.. no sir!  We had 2 year old Ethan in tow.  Now-- boys, they like to move.  And let me tell you what-- that boy has never been still a day in his life.  Luckily this has him crashing out the second his head hits the pillow but as a newly single mom with no patience, no proper guidance and no plan-- this can drive you completely mad until you finally get a grip on things.

So, this is just the start of the insanity. We were in this line for about 4 hours when we finally got to a table. FOUR hours.... The first table we sat at, I produced my pitiful excuse of a shot record to the lady.....

Now, B, as we like to call her, is an amazing child. She will really think about the benefits of the things you are giving to her if you explain it to her in a way that she knows this is good for her.  She was prepared!  "Mom!  I can take this. It's just a shot, right? I got this!!"  My baby is a trooper!!

So as we sat down the woman looks at this record and reveals that I was-- not 1.. Not 2.. But 5 shots behind.  And the reality sunk in for her.  This. Was. Going. To. Be. UGLY.

He's a colossal 2 and she just turned 5 here..
Not easy to hold on to at the time.
Plus it is almost x-mas... So yeah....

Now, not only is SHE attempting to escape the building at the nearest exit-- But The E-man.  My ginormous bundle of joy.. (10lbs 7ozs at birth... I swear I birthed a 3 month old) sees a WHOLE lot of shiny shit. He is ready to be on the MOVE and everything WILL go directly into his ever drooling mouth.

So picture this... I am in a chair.  My right arm has a firm grip around Brianna's little body, where I can practically hear the needle scraping on bone because she is desperately trying to free herself from the terror that is steadily coming her way. My left hand is firmly attached to the boy's left ankle, because at this point, he is squirming around and belly flopping on the floor hoping the next move will free him and his mouth will be full of shiny, kill you dead, objects that are on the opposite side of the cafeteria.

It was a nightmare.. I was, literally, being pulled in 2 different directions-- and by this time-- all THREE of us were crying.  I looked desperately around the room at the hundreds of women staring at me in amusement. Sort of like, "Poor girl!  Glad it isn't me!"  I was at the point that if some random stranger came up to me and asked for my son-- I was going to give him to them and not look back.

And then it happened.  An angel stepped out of all these people staring at the 3 ring circus I had going on and offered to take my son.  She said, "Please... let me help you!  Let me hold your son for you!" -- By this point, I wasn't just crying-- I was bawling.  Brianna and I both-- like big ol' titty babies and I wasn't sure if we could survive the entire ordeal.

This woman saved our lives!  I don't know that we would have made it through the day.  I would have eventually had to release him and just hope that one of the surrounding nurses stopped him from drinking all the cocktails that they call immunizations.  The boy did down a bottle of scented bubbles shortly after at Brianna's 5th birthday party and promptly hurled all over the bouncy house as little girls came screaming out, so it would have been possible! And believe me-- we never purchased scented bubbles again...

But without this woman who stepped out from all the rest to assist me from going completely mad, I might have lost my shit.. well more then I already had.  I would have wondered where I was going to muster up the strength to go on doing every day things like this.  Doctor visits, meetings with teachers, going to the movies, the park, the store-- all of it had become a struggle. Sometimes just being home alone with them was more of a struggle than I would have ever admitted at the time because I absolutely preferred to struggle in silence.

We drive each other crazy sometimes

There really is little time that this woman's kindness is far from mind.  When I see a struggling parent, I do my best to help in any way I can-- Even if it's just making them laugh and reminding them that they are not alone.  When I see these kids screaming down the aisle and a parent who is about to unravel, I have been known to put my hand on their shoulder and tell them--- "Don't worry.... I lived through the insanity too...."

But we enjoy the crazies now :)