Just because the hat fits, that doesn't mean you have to buy it.

There are times where I feel like I need a guide, to lead me down my path.. Someone to talk to, who understands me and so they can put me in the right direction.  Someone to say, “Here Lindsay.. Walk this way, take these steps and all will be safe.  Nothing can harm you if you do exactly as I say.”  And it does work, for a while when someone points out their way.  I think, “Hell yeah!! This is going to be a piece of cake.. It is all laid out for me.  It’s where I don’t even have to think about it!  They have told me what to do, I’m going to do it and all will be fixed."

I have realized, that is only a temporary fix.. a band aid to cover the wound, because no matter how advanced the person who is leading me might be…they are still just as perfectly flawed as I am.  They still have frustrations, anxiety, disagreements with their boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, children, boss or whoever it may be, they say things they wish they had said differently, or even struggle to make ends meet.  They are walking their path and I am walking mine and even though paths may cross, the one we are on is named after each of us.. It has my own personal marks on it with my personal history creating the divots that became the road I have started to carve out.

I guess what I mean is.. We can really help each other when our paths meet, but ultimately.. I have to decide what is best for me.  I have to process all the information that is given to me as advice and decide what is useful or relative and what isn’t.  And sometimes I have to try their hat on to see if it fits for a little while, but it doesn’t mean I’m forever stuck with that hat on my head.  I can take it off and hand it back if it doesn’t feel quite right.

Advice is just that, advice.. Help is just that, help.. But my purpose is not to follow every bit I hear or even have to depend on others to freely give it over to me.  While I know plenty will hold the torch if I asked them to.. I know I will need to rest and ask someone else to guide me from time to time, but it is most important for me to take the light into my own hands when I’m feeling weak and ready myself to find my own way again.