Tales From the Uber Side...

 GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!  I'll start with that simply because I've been using it in place of most of the cuss words I'd really like to put out there sometimes. I still cuss.. I'm not perfect. I don't apologize for it.  And sometimes-- an F-bomb fits better than any other word... Anywho---

Man-- I've got so much I want to write and so little brain power to remember it all to get it out there but as they say-- if you're gonna start, better start somewhere.

I did!!

So, what's been going on?  Well, I left the company I had been with for the last few years recently-- the middle of Jan.  The truth is---I simply stopped doing work for the company when my commissions were cut by way more than half-- which cut my will to work for said company to zero.  I really felt as though it back-tracked and made the statement that he "knew my worth and value" totally void.  And when I no longer feel appreciated in a place-- I remove myself from the situation.  

I decided to pick up Uber a few weeks before the "decline".  Also, if you've read my previous posts, I still don't know what's going on with my shark brain but we're leading towards endometriosis.. It will require more testing, which is more money than I can spend at the moment but I'll get there when the time is right.  Good thing is, right now, the waters are calm and the shark brain is chillin'.  I get pains and bleeding from time to time but the Ultrasound and the CT Scan came back completely normal.  Next is to get a scope and go all up in my junk to see what the heck is really going on... It will come in time.

Anyways!! Uber was GREAT at first and still isn't terrible-- which is not my ideal way of describing my way of making a living at the moment. There have just been some new "developments" that reminded me I wasn't working on my passion-- I've just been working on making money again..  I mean--the rodeo was in town which meant crazy surging prices and good money to be made for 3 weeks. But GOD BLESS AMERICA driving an average of 1500 miles a week can not only wear on a car but a person as well.  

I imagine this would be that dog's revenge..

Believe me... I've got some GREAT stories-- like the woman who told me she once peed on her dog to stop him from doing bad things in the house.  She said she watched some country dog whisperer show and the dude literally said, "Welp, if they ain't behavin'.. Ya gotta PEE on 'em to show 'em who's in charge."  So--- she said she put him in the bathtub, peed on him...then realized it wasn't the best of ideas because she just had a bigger mess to clean up after... She mentioned getting rid of the dog and that she wasn't really a dog person at this point-- Well no SHIT lady-- I mean GOD BLESS AMERICA LADY!  You don't go peeing on kids when they've drawn with magic marker on the carpet to make your point.  It's crazy that she took the advice-- but hey... I'm no judge...Although reflecting on this paragraph-- maybe I judged just a wee bit. She was, however, telling me this story completely sober.  So there was no shame in her game.

Now, obviously, I pick up a lot of really drunk people.  And believe it or not, some of them will impress you. So there was one drunk chick that I was SUPER proud of because, well,  she was a CHAMP!  She had to puke...but this chick--- she was a damn trooper. For real.  The girl had x-ray vision and could see right through me when I was picking her up. She was in the captain's chairs in the back with another chick and all of a sudden, I hear out of a nervous voice, "Uhhh... I think she needs to get out for a moment..."  I look back and this girl has a MOUTHFUL-- cheeks puffed out... a little funk hanging out... looking at me with total desperation in her eyes. I pulled over quick style, she got out.... and let loose.  She wasn't so "clean" about getting back in.  It was all over her clothes and in her hair but, miraculously, there was only a little bit in the car and her friends (chicks who didn't know her that well but REALLY didn't want her to go home by herself) got Clorox wipes from the house and made my car sparkle again.  Well, one did-- the other was inside convincing her not to sleep in her puke stained clothes.  Really- those girls are good peeps looking out for her that way.

NOT a pregnant stripper-- just the most impressive
pregnant belly I've ever seen. Had to share.

The next one that stands out was a crying and VERY drunk, ahem, "adult entertainer" who tried to say she was a bartender at first. Then, through the tears, ratted herself out saying that she not only did she not have a CLUE how to make a single drink, but she took her clothes off for money (her words). BUT the cherry on the pie was that she was 13 weeks pregnant.  She was going to have an abortion THAT DAY but her boyfriend, who wants to keep the baby, spent all the money on drugs so she couldn't get one.  She then went on to say that she was drunker than usual because no one had any "party favors" at work that night. I've only got 2, non-judgmental yet honest, words for this one-- Train. Wreck.

It's not all drunk shit-shows that get in my car.  I also pick up people like this one gentleman-- we spoke for a while-- found out he once lived in Sugar Land (where I reside)-- his kids went to the same elementary, jr. high and high school that I did.  Once they graduated, he moved to a very nice neighborhood in Houston because he had no reason to stay in Sugar Land.  His job, that he retired from 2 weeks prior, was there in the city.  He was so relaxed and chill that I had to ask what he left behind. To be honest, I was a little shocked to hear that he had been the Houston Chief of Police for the last 6 years and serving the city for 39.  He was happy.  He had just turned 61 years old and was not resigning due to a scandal nor leaving the force due to his own funeral.  He just knew it was time... aaand he was on his way with BEAUTIFUL roses to greet his girlfriend for her birthday.  Sounds like he made the perfect choice for himself!  And just so we're clear-- once I heard those words "Houston City Chief of Police"  I was a weeeee bit more conscious about my speed and using my blinker.  Not that he was going to write me a ticket or anything-- guess it was more of a "Pavlov" type thing.

Those 4 stories only scratch the surface.. Hell-- maybe I should start an Uber blog just to have a place to share all of the craziness-- At this moment, I've had 654 rides in my car, so believe me, I have a lot to share.  But for now, I'm about to hop in the driver's seat and make that money!  I'll be sure to keep y'all updated on the awesome craziness that I call--My Life

Just me and my ride! :)